Sex Therapy in Edmond & Oklahoma City
Sex Therapy for Adults
Sex can get complicated. Maybe your desire has changed, your body is not responding the way you expect, or anxiety takes over the moment you try to be intimate. You might enjoy sex but struggle to orgasm, feel disconnected from your body, or find that certain kinds of touch are overwhelming instead of pleasurable.
Sometimes you know exactly where the problem started. Other times, you just know something feels different and you want to understand why.
I provide sex therapy for adults in Edmond and the Oklahoma City area, including LGBTQIA+ and neurodivergent clients. My approach brings together sexual health, trauma therapy, sensory science, and an understanding of how the body and nervous system affect intimacy.
We will look at what is actually happening for you and work from there.
Reasons People Come to Sex Therapy
There is no single reason someone seeks sex therapy. I work with concerns including:
Low or changing sexual desire
Differences in desire between partners
Difficulty reaching orgasm or delayed ejaculation
Performance anxiety
Sexual shame
Body image concerns
Difficulty staying present during sex
Pain or discomfort during sexual activity
Sensory sensitivities that affect intimacy
Difficulty communicating about sex
Sexual concerns connected to trauma
Changes related to aging, health, or medication
Religious messages that continue to affect sexuality
Questions about kink or consensual nonmonogamy
Feeling disconnected from your body or sexual self
You do not need to figure out which category you fit into before coming to therapy. Most sexual concerns do not fit neatly into one category anyway.
Sex Is Physical and Psychological
Sexual concerns are rarely just "in your head."
Desire, arousal, orgasm, and pleasure can be affected by stress, anxiety, trauma, medications, health conditions, hormones, relationships, body image, sensory processing, and previous experiences. Usually, more than one thing is happening at the same time.
That can create some confusing experiences. You might want sex but have trouble becoming physically aroused. Your body might respond sexually when you do not actually feel desire. You may be able to orgasm alone but struggle with a partner. Or you might become so focused on whether your body is going to perform that it becomes almost impossible to enjoy what is happening.
Those differences matter because treatment should address what is actually driving the problem, not just the symptom you notice first.
My background helps me look at sexual concerns from both sides. Before becoming a therapist, I earned bachelor's and master's degrees in nutrition and dietetics. I have also completed more than 165 hours of continuing education focused specifically on sex therapy and sexual health.
If something sounds like it may have a medical component, we can talk about that too. Therapy cannot diagnose or treat a medical condition, but I can help you identify questions worth discussing with your physician or another healthcare provider.
Sensory Processing and Intimacy
Sensory differences can have a much bigger effect on sex than people realize.
Touch can feel good one day and overwhelming the next. Pressure, texture, temperature, sound, smell, movement, or even the way someone initiates touch can change how your body responds.
This comes up frequently in my work with autistic and other neurodivergent adults.
If you need certain kinds of touch, more predictability, less sensory input, or more time to transition into intimacy, I am not going to treat those needs as something you have to get over. We can figure out what your body responds to and what gets in the way.
Sex tends to work better when you understand your body instead of fighting with it.
Trauma, Shame, and Sexuality
You can understand something intellectually and still have your body react differently.
That happens frequently with trauma. Someone may know they are safe with their partner and still tense up, disconnect, lose arousal, become anxious, or feel an urge to escape when intimacy becomes vulnerable.
Shame can work the same way.
If you grew up hearing that sex, masturbation, your body, your sexual orientation, or certain kinds of desire were wrong, those messages do not always disappear just because you no longer believe them. This can be especially difficult for people who grew up in rigid or religious environments.
When those experiences are still affecting you, we can work with them directly. I use EMDR and Brainspotting when appropriate to address trauma and other experiences that continue to show up in the present.
And no, you do not have to give me a detailed account of every sexual experience you have ever had. We talk about what is actually useful for the work we are doing.
LGBTQIA+ Sex Therapy
You should not have to spend half of a therapy session explaining your identity or relationship before you can talk about why you came in.
I have years of direct experience working with LGBTQIA+ adults and in sexual health. My practice is affirming of different sexual orientations, gender identities, relationship structures, kink, and consensual nonmonogamy.
That does not mean every problem gets explained through your identity.
Sometimes being LGBTQIA+ is directly relevant to what is happening. Minority stress, religious trauma, shame, coming out, rejection, body image, and past experiences can absolutely affect sexuality and relationships.
Other times, you are an LGBTQIA+ person who happens to be dealing with low desire, performance anxiety, an orgasm problem, or relationship stress.
We can focus on the actual problem.
Sex Therapy for Neurodivergent Adults
Autism and ADHD can affect intimacy in ways that are easy to miss.
Sensory processing is one piece, but it is not the only one. Attention, transitions, routines, communication, interoception, emotional regulation, and differences in how you experience desire can all show up in your sexual life.
You may need more time to transition from whatever you were doing into intimacy. Spontaneous sex may sound appealing in theory but feel disruptive in practice. You may struggle to notice what your body is feeling until the sensation becomes intense. Or you may have difficulty explaining to a partner why something that felt good yesterday suddenly feels terrible today.
My work with neurodivergent adults is informed by clinical experience, my background in sensory science, and my training as a former Oklahoma LEND Fellow.
We are not trying to make your sexuality look more typical. We are trying to figure out what actually works for you.
What Happens in Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is talk therapy. There is no sexual contact, sexual activity, or physical examination during sessions.
We start with what brought you in.
From there, the work depends on what we find. We might look at patterns around desire and arousal, work on sexual communication, address anxiety or shame, explore sensory needs, improve awareness of what is happening in your body, or process experiences that are still affecting intimacy.
Sometimes education and a few practical changes make a significant difference. Sometimes there is trauma or shame underneath the problem that needs more attention. Often it is a combination.
I do not use a predetermined standard for how often you should have sex, what you should enjoy, or what your relationship should look like.
The question is whether your sexual life works for you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to be in a relationship to come to sex therapy?
No. Plenty of people come individually. You might want to work on desire, orgasm, sexual confidence, shame, body image, trauma, or simply understanding your own sexuality better.
Do you work with LGBTQIA+ clients?
Yes. LGBTQIA+ adults are a significant part of my practice. I also work with clients in diverse relationship structures and clients who are kinky or consensually nonmonogamous.
Can we work on trauma and sex at the same time?
Yes. For some people, separating the two would not make much sense. When trauma is contributing to what is happening sexually, I can integrate approaches such as EMDR or Brainspotting into our work.
What if the problem is medical?
Sometimes it is, and sometimes medical and psychological factors overlap. If something you describe suggests that a medical evaluation could be useful, I will tell you. We can also work alongside the care you receive from a physician or other healthcare provider.
Will I have to talk about my sex life in detail?
Only to the extent that it is useful. I will need enough information to understand what you are experiencing, but you decide what you disclose. Graphic descriptions are not a requirement of sex therapy.
What if I don't know what's wrong?
That's fine. "Something isn't working and I don't know why" is enough of a place to start.
Getting Started
People often wait a long time before talking to someone about sexual concerns. You may have tried to solve it yourself, searched for answers online, blamed your body, or wondered whether this is simply something you have to live with.
You do not have to know the answer before you come in.
We can figure out what is happening, what is keeping it going, and what might actually help.
I provide sex therapy for adults in Edmond and the Oklahoma City area, with virtual therapy available throughout Oklahoma.
